My blog turned 4 today!
English summer doing what English summers do best. #england #summer #surrey
Here it is! Our next video, and it’s all to help Cool Earth save this bloody lovely planet of ours.
As 2013 Mongol Ralliers, we are raising money for Cool Earth in its efforts to save the world’s gorgeous rainforests. Cool Earth do fantastic work, including:
- Only protecting rainforest that is in imminent danger and without our intervention would be cleared.
- Protecting rainforest that forms a natural barrier to tens of thousands of acres of adjacent forest.
- Working with local communities to make sure that they are best placed to protect the rainforest.
- Making sure the money our individual sponsors give us goes directly to the rainforest. We spend less than 10% of our supporters’ money on administration.
- Protecting areas with high levels of biodiversity which store at least 260 tonnes of CO2 per acre.
Help us save the planet by donating here: http://www.justgiving.com/bactrian-cool-earth
An evening at the theatre with @kellyeva1901 #london #summer #theatre (at Richmond Theatre)
The future of human centered design | Firm Follows Form
A super-interesting article for my designer and sustainability-conscious friends. This sort of thinking was core to the methodology we began learning about later in my design degree.
Summer sunset structures. #london #greenwich
"I’ve always had difficulty connecting to people, in one way or another. Not because I don’t try, but because the type of interactions I am constantly searching for are few and far between and incredibly rare. Despite my efforts, I am profoundly opposed to simple, small talk and the cyclical patterns of ups and downs that I watch most relationships suffer from. It seems to me that, although people claim they want to find their ‘soul mate’ or their ‘best friend,’ what most people are looking for is someone to give voice to their inner silence so they can avoid having to answer life’s big questions. Why seek something greater if you have others around to occupy you? To me, this is the easy way to coast through your life, no real responsibility to anyone or anything - but always just a consenting participant. One of the masses. I am completely unable to relate to this mentality in so, so many others. They have to be aware that the people they spend their time on feel just the same way about them, right? Lukewarm.
I first became aware of this when I was about 11. I have a childhood friend that lives her life this way, still to this day. She is fantastic fun and I always have a good time when I spend time with her, but each interaction is always so clearly guarded by strict lines that are not to be crossed. Namely, no expectations can be had at any point. And I don’t even mean the expectation that she would be there in an emergency, I mean like…nothing - not even plans for later in the evening. She always operates on an “Only if it’s perfect for me,” mentality. And yet the expectation on her friends from her is considerable. It seems to be how these types of things work. And yet somehow, she seems happy…at least outwardly.
Although this friend is an example, she is by no means the only person in my life that operates in this fashion. Everyone in the world has different degrees of themselves that they are willing to share with the world, and each of those comes with a different level of expectation from others. The consistency and ‘responsibility’ in a relationship of any kind is what makes it worth while. Through an unspoken promise we make to our friends and lovers that we will be there for them, we are able to create a safe environment where we have the blessing of learning about one another, and perhaps more importantly, learn from one another. It is through these relationships that we are able to discover ourselves and learn who we are, how we feel about the world, and so many other profoundly important things. But what happens when no one is willing to put in the time and effort required to achieve this? What then happens to the world?
It’s an absurd phenomenon to me because it’s truly very ironic. How often do we hear others complain about how no one is listening, or how they just want to find that perfect love? The reality is that you are going to get what you give as far as relationships are concerned. This is not to say that people will not disappoint you. What I mean is, if you are not actually wanting to connect to the person you are spending your time with, how can you expect them to do the same for you? Take a minute to think about your best relationship for just a minute…what separates it from the rest? Is it because you grew up together and don’t know anything else? Is it a sibling that has always been there? Is it that person you met on the first day at a new school? Is it your new roommate that you found on the internet and call your best friend because of proximity? Why is this person special to you? For me, what separates the people I value apart from everyone else is the connection I am able to make to them.
There is a quote that goes something like this:
Simple minds discuss others.
Average minds discuss events.
Great minds discuss ideas.
I like to think about this when I am observing relationships around me. People seem to thrive on negativity. The existence of this negativity is the basis of their relationship and probably the only real reason that they have anything to say to one another. This overflows in to every facet of this relationship. The people they hate, the things they hate, the line is too long, the server is too slow, the weather sucks, that person did this to me once, et cetera. And then something I find to be extremely strange occurs: they do this to each other. Now, suddenly a group of friends forms and is made up of people who are each saying negative things about the others, consistently. And they know this is happening! Do any of them really like one another? And how do they come up with so many ‘small talk’ things to say? I just can not for the life of me understand what these types of people are gaining from one another except the lack of outward loneliness. But maybe that’s all they’re seeking…
What I’ve Learned:
People do not really care about you. They might seem that they do for a glimmer of time, but when you get to the core of the relationship - it’s always about what they can get out of it. People are seeking others to fill their spare time, but they do not actually perceive you as a real person. This begs the age-old question of whether altruism is or is not real. My theory is that everything we do is a show for others in one way or another. The clothes we wear, the job we have; everything is all to create a very specific image of what we want to project to the world. This is no different when it comes to ‘good deeds’ we do for others. This is the exact thing that makes charities so successful. People love to show off all the good they’ve done for the world. But what about the people that do silent good deeds that no one ever hears about? This still makes that person feel that they are a better person for what they did. Maybe they did want to do something nice for someone else, but only because they like the way it makes them feel. This is not altruism, it’s narcissism. I like to believe it exists out there somewhere in chosen special people. I’ll even say that I believe myself to be one of those people, because one of my life’s callings is to connect to others, and to help them learn to do so in return. But I can’t be the judge of that. Truly, that’s why a real friend is not only important, but imperative - friendship provides perspective, and it makes you a better person.
We sort of live in an age of ‘whoever cares the least has the most power,’ in relationships. Technology and social media certainly have their roles in this mentality, but truly it’s more profound than that. In life, we are given the capacity to think and process ideas, concepts, and emotions. It is our quest to learn to connect to the world around us and our responsibility to ourselves not to let the fear of what we might discover cripple us. This is why we are designed to respond to community. We genuinely need others to help us along this path, to support us, guide us, and love us - just as we do for them. Unfortunately, it has become the norm to let this fear prevent us from really seeking what would satisfy us. True companionship. No limits. No barriers. No rules. Just raw love. Just as you would do anything for whatever you think is the most important thing in your life, it is my sincere hope that you can learn to bring that in to your friendships, too. What is so scary about letting someone really see you?
So, if you’re really lucky, you will find at least one person who really loves you. Without conditions. This means that this person will love you no matter what happens, no matter how difficult. You are forever bonded by your love for each other and the loyalty that stems from that is unbreakable. While up to this point I’ve only been able to find that with my family, it is my passionate hope that it is possible for this love to exist out of the dynamic of your nuclear family system. I see no reason you can’t love someone unconditionally that wasn’t born right next to you. Maybe love is taught. Maybe it is felt. And maybe if you don’t have an example of this kind of love in your foundation, you are unable to experience it. Whatever the reason may be, I wish you all the gift of an unconditional relationship with another. But I urge you to be the type of person that gives this love in return. If we can truly accomplish this, we could change the world - one relationship at a time."
What do I believe?
Some wonderful truths in this girl’s realisations…
- Humans are born mouldable and essentially neutral, however due to our shared humanity, we have or develop intrinsic morality. We are not inherently evil.
- ‘Everything’ doesn’t ‘happen for a reason,’ but if the right environment and need is created by our own desires and actions, things do happen for reasons.
- Words have lasting power.
- The summum bonum of life is happiness; happiness is God; God is love; love is happiness.
- No religion is 100% wrong or 100% right; all contain some form of ‘truth’ – and these are often the shared elements between them.
- Great love and great achievements involve great risk.
- Human beings are mammals, however we are at the top of the food chain and are higher cognitive beings, and responsibility for the care of (and destruction of) the earth is ours.
- Beauty surrounds us – we only have to look.
- Each person is acting and speaking from the expression of their enculturation, upbringing and experience.
- Most decisions are either driven by love and/or fear.
- Nothing in our lives or in this world is fixed or permanent - the only thing certain is change.
- The joy of giving is greater than that of receiving.
- Meditation is the path to self-understanding, eventually inner peace, and perhaps enlightenment.
- The best relationship is one in which your love for each other exceeds your need for each other.
- Death is important to reflect upon, in doing so we may remember that life is not a guarantee and we must not take it for granted.
- The state of our mind affects the state of our physical bodies, and the health and vitality of our body affects our mental state – it is all an interconnected system.
- Now is all there is.
- We can only truly love another when we first love ourselves, otherwise we will simply be seeing in another a reflection and will draw energy from one another rather than mutually give.
- Everything in this world is made of atoms; atoms are mostly space and energy; everything is therefore mostly space and energy.
- Humans evolved over a long period of time, driven by some force (be it Love, Energy, Gaia, God, Allah, or simply the energy of Nature, all are similar in essence).
- We have a duty to our fellow mankind, to help those in need and alleviate suffering to the capacity we are able.
- Selfishness is not necessarily ‘bad’. However, many selfish actions and attitudes can be hurtful to others, and it as a race with consciousness and the ability to empathize, these can be considered ‘bad’.
- Sex is good, it is at once sacred and simply a physical act.
- Everyone loves to feel loved, and to be loved, whether outwardly acknowledged or not.
- “Though you travel the world over to find the beautiful, you must carry it within you or you find it not.”
- Likewise, though you travel the world over to find happiness, you must discover it within you or you find it not.
The beat in this song makes everything ok.
Woolwich « Russell Brand
“The extremists on both sides have a shared agenda; cause division, distrust, anger and violence. Both sides have the same intention. We cannot allow them to distort our perception.”
Best early* birthday present EVER! Thanks lover @kellyeva1901 <3
*I will be in Uzbekistan for my birthday this year.
